Sal's YuGiOh! Chronicles
by sunnystargazer
Summary: The continuation of weekend. It's really stupid, and it wouldn't be here. But I have a gun to my head and she think's its funny, so here. No Plot.


Sal: Honestly, this is my second fiction, and I STILL can't make good reviews, summaries, or titles, so for now, FUCK THE TITLE!!!

Kate: Well, you still have to announce the disclaimer, Sal.

Sal: FUCK THE DISCLAIMER!!! FUCK THE REVIEWS! FUCK THE SUMMARIES! FUCK IT ALL! FOR I AM LESS SANE THAN YAMI BAKURA!!!

Kate: (Sigh)

Ryou; Wait, wait, I think I've heard this one before…{Sal: FUCK MY DAD'S UNDERWEAR!}

Kate: No joke. Sal, the REAL author does not own anything from Yu-Gi-Oh! nor does she own anything random that pops up…

Sal: FUCK THE COMMUNIST SCUM!!! FUCK THE MISSIONARIES!

Olena: I think I'll stay a virgin…

Sal: Who let you in! Get out of the intro!!! AAAAAA FUCK THE INTRO! (Pushes Olena out)

Kate: …and she does own the plot…

Sal: (Gasp, gasp) I do not own the plot! There IS no plot! It's just funny random things that pop up at school that I want to keep record of! FUCK THE PLOT!

Bakura: Like the time you flooded the girls' bathroom by the gym….

Sal: Shut up about that! FUCK THE TITLE! You can't HANDLE a title!

All: (Sigh)

Sal: YEAH, Kate, like YOU could talk…what about you and Seto when you guys got drunk. Eh?

Kate: Shhhhhhh…please R & R…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sal & Ryou walking to Geography (shudder) from Math (shudder)…

Sal: Sigh…Geography will be a drag.

Ryou: Please remind me why we have all our classes together?

Sal: Coincidence.

Ryou: Oh.

Bakura: You called?

Ryou & Sal: Huh?

Bakura: Well, you know how when Yugi would turn into Yami, he would shout Yugiohhhhhhhhh! Well, you said oh…and Yugi and oh…are you following me?

Sal: Yes, and you're stupid.

Bakura: Well at least I didn't get a detention for saying 'stupid'…  
  


Sal: You're absolutely right…AT LEAST I DIDN'T TRY AND SET MS. HOOVER ON FIRE!!! MS. HOOVER IS NICE!!!!

Bakura: Shhhh…

Sal: Ms. Hoover is nice. So are you planning to skip Geography as well, hmm?

Bakura: No. I'm going to Geography. I'll just not say anything to Ms. Robinson.

Sal: I bet $10 he can't.

Ryou: Deal.

Bakura: Let's go! (Marches off like a goon) {Kate: Interesting choice of words…

Sal: Thanks.}

Ryou: You think he can?

Sal: No. We're watching a video, and we have to take notes.

Ryou: How do you know this?

Sal: I have the power of foresight…

Ryou: Be serious.

Sal: David told me.

Ryou: Much better.

Narrator: In Geography…watching some video about animals and climate regions in the middle east…{Sal; Don't ask when I decided to get a Narrator, JUST…DON'T}

TV: (Shows baboons)…Orphaned Baboons will be cared for by a young male…

Sal: Look! My mom's on TV!

Bakura: Who's your daddy?

Ryou & Olena: (Crack up)

TV: (Shows some guy talking about Camels, then babbles about food) Guy: …and we have dates…

Bakura: DATES?! I can't even get ONE, and with your face, you're lucky to have ANY!

Olena: The fruit, you idiot.

TV: (Shows Camels, making grunting noises)

Sal: Looks like daddy has a stomachache…and…he needs to shave…

TV: (Continues showing Camels, but all are walking to drink water) Camels come to graze and drink water… 

Ryou: It's hypnotism!

Sal: You killed it, Ryou.

TV: Now here's the Ibex, and Rheem Gazelle…both pee to mark territory, like dogs do….

All: [Unison] EEEEEEEEWWWWWW!

TV: (Ibex shows Ibexes making similar Camel grunting noises)

Olena: Looks like Alicia is doing well…

TV: (Shows some guy with a dog hunting rabbit. Dog chases rabbit around) 

Bakura: DEPLETE THE BUNNY POPULATION! 

Malia: Go bunny, go!

TV:…By Roman times… 

Bakura: EVIL ROME! 

Olena: (Whacks him)

Bakura: Eeeeeeeeviiiiiiiilllllll…

Sal, Olena & Ryou: SHUT UP!

TV: Bats…

Bakura: (Starts sinning the 'Batty' theme from the movie Fern Gully) The name is batty… {Sal: Don't own Fern Gully}

Narr.: Eventually the evil video ends, and Ms. Robinson stands up…

Ms. R: Okay class, time to take some notes (writes 'Monotheistic' and 'Polytheistic' on the board) Okay who knows what polytheistic means?

Sal: (Virtually springs out of her seat, hand flailing in the air, making whimpering sounds while everybody stares)

Ms. R: Polytheism is the belief in 1 or more gods…like the Romans, and the Greeks 

Bakura: (Mutters) Evil Rome… 

Olena: (Whacks him with Geography notes)

Ms. R: Monotheism is the belief in only ONE god.

Sal: _She has crossed one of the many sacred lines…3, 2, 1, zer-_

Yami: (Stands up) WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONE GOD?!

Bakura: (Chanting more or less the same thing) Hail Ra for he is the sun god, hail Ra for he is the fun god! RAAAAA!…or…Hail the sun god, for he is the fun god, RAAAAA!

Ms. R: (Major sweat dropage) Okay class, that's enough settle down…

Bakura: Osiris, Isis, Sachmet, Bastet, Wepwawet, Set, Maat, Mut, Ka, Hathor, Anubis, Thoth, Qetesh, Nut, Sobek, Taweret, Nephthys, Amen, Chons, Geb, Dua, Min, Shu, Bes…RA!!! Ra, Ra, Ra, Raaaaa!

Sal: (Hits with her Geography book) Sigh. (whispers) There are many more you know…

Bakura: (Stands up) I know THAT!

Ms. R: Moving right along….Please copy down what I write on the board (Writes Afghanis, Kurds, Turks…)

Sal: (Raises hand) Ms. Robinson, you mean Kurds from Kurdistan, or Turds from Turdistan?

Ms. R: Uh…Sally, I think you know the answer to that…

All: (Crack up)

Olena: (Whispers to Sal) Well, this IS better than what happened in math…remember?

…:::Flashback Sequence:::…

Adrie: (Sleeps)

Mr. Uejio: Adrie! Pay Attention!

Adrie: (Blinks)

Mr. U: Pay Attention!

Adrie: (Blinks & looks away)

Mr. U: Adrie!

Adrie: (Rolls eyes)

Mr. U: Adrie! PAY Attention!

Adrie: (Flicks him off & leaves room)

…:::End Flashback:::…

Ryou: I remember. Mr. Uejio was pissed…

Sal: CMS…

Ryou: CMS?

Sal: Constant PMS

Ryou: I see…

Olena: Wonder where Adrie went, she was pissed cuz he spelled her name without the 'e' at the end…

Sal: Sigh…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Narr.: At lunch…

Olena: It's a weenie!

Greer: Look! It's a sperm! (Points at something on the ground)

Sal: _Wonder how Ryou is fairing…_

Narr.: With Ryou…

Bakura: I'm hotter Yami loser!

Y Malik: We're ALL Yamis…

Ryou: (Sigh)

Yami: You wish you baka tomb robber!

Bakura: At least I'm smart enough to ROB a tomb…

Yami: Let's see what happened…you got caught, and the priest 'sacrificed' you to Ra…

Bakura: BUT I escaped…

Yugi: (To Malik) Where is this conversation going?

Malik: Does this conversation even have a POINT?

Yami: I'm still hotter…

Y Malik: You may be hotter, BUT I'M THE HOTTEST!

David: Someone was paying attention in English…

Bakura: HAH! I'm HOTTER-ER!!! -ER –ER –ER –ER…?

Yugi: (Has been listening to music for quite some time now)

Malik: Hey Ryou, you wanna visit the girls? (Bakura still going –ER…)

Ryou: Sure. (Goes with Malik to visit girls)

Narr.: With the girls…

Olena: IT'S A WEENIE!

Sal: (Stands up) I KNOW IT'S A WEENIE! GET ON WITH IT!

Olena: Well, umm, umm, that's it.

Sal: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRGHHHHH! (Stomps off)

Sierra: I like to sniff Ms. Hutton!

Sal: (Now running away) Ahhhhhhhhhh! Nooooooooo! 

Mia: Lookit! I'm Celinda! And let's get one thing straight…I'M NOT! {Sal: Actually Mia is Malia A., but we don't want you to get confused...say it…Mee-ah}

All: (Crack up)

Sal: (Slams into Malik, both fall down the stairs, and Ryou turns the other way face in his hands)

Mailk: She wants me.

Sal: (Hits with book bag)

Malik: Ow, what do you have in there?! A dictionary?

Sal: No, I have a thesaurus.

Malik: That's just great.

Ryou: (Helps Sal up) Are you okay?

Sal: (Sigh) Fine, fine. (Fakes stepping on his face so he'll get up)

Malik: Okay, maybe visiting the girls wasn't a good idea.

Narr.: Back with the Girls…there is Mia, Kara, Sarah, Greer, Dayna, Adrie, Olena, and Sierra…

Mia: (In the corner now, reading Lord Of The Rings) Sierra and Olena, sadly are sugar high, and Olena's trying to shove pieces of pretzel down Sierra's throat.

Olena: (Attempts to stick pretzel up Sierra's nose)

Sierra: (Pretzel in one hand, mouth full) STOP IT!!!

Greer: IT'S A SPERM! (Points to soda can)

Dayna: (Monotone) This is stupid.

Adrie: I love a dead guy!

Sierra: Trent…(melts)

Narr.: Sal, Ryou and Malik arrive…

Sierra: TRENT! (melts)

Sal: Well, I understand what there is to like. At least he doesn't have a huge honker.

Kara: Stop it!

Dayna: (Monotone) This is stupid.

Ryou & Malik: (Sweat drop)

Sal: (Getting mad) Well, we shall go the other way then…(Grabs Ryou's arm)

Greer: IT'S A SPERM! (Points at Malik)

Malik: (Looks down) Uh…Thank You…

Sal: (Whacks forehead)

Ryou: (Now terrified; major sweat dropage)

Narr.: Yugi and the rest walk over and sit down without anybody noticing, and Bakura starts acting like he wants to burn something.

Bakura: (Holding lighter close, muttering) I need turpentine, I NEED it…yes, turpentine…or petrol…or hairspray…yes, hairspray…

Sal: (Sighs at Bakura, and pulls out a bag of jellybeans)

Bakura: (Eyes get big, grabs the bag, and runs around in circles) MINE! SUGAR! SUGAR! SUGAR! SUGAR! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sal: Now that's something no self-respecting yami would do: grab a bag of candy, and run around in circles yelling, "Mine! Sugar! Sugar! Sugar! Bwahahaha!"…Sadly after going 7 hours without sugar, Bakura is suffering from sugar withdrawal…

All: (Big eyes, and an anime sweat drop to boot)

Sal: (Sarcasm) Oh, happy days…

Sierra: (Jumps up and points at Yugi) I DARE YUGI TO GET HIS HEAD SHAVED!

Sal: Yeah, she's reeeeeaaaaaaly depressed…

Yami: Wait. If Yugi had his head shaved, than wouldn't I be bald too? EGAD! MY HAIR! (Grabs head and runs off shrieking)

Sal: Don't hold strong opinions about things you don't understand, Sierra…why don't you go first?

Sierra: Quit reading off my stickers!

Greer: IT'S A SPERM! (points to Sierra)

Sierra: No I'm not! I'm feminine! FEMALE!

All: (Sweat drop)

Sal: (Laughs) Okay. Shall we proceed?

Mia: Ahahahahaha!

Sal: Now what?

Olena: (Ahem) Allow me. We are writing a fanfiction, Malia Andrews and I, and it's called 'Us in Hogwarts'…

Mia: Sal's a complete DORK!

Sal: Not funny…

Malik: There's a weirdo, there's a weirdo in the house…

Dayna: (Monotone) This is stupid.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sal: Yeah, erm…the first stuff is always the longest…We're open to suggestions and we'll try to work them in!

Kate: Review this please! We LOVE reviews!!!

Sal & Kate: (Wave)


End file.
